Coincidents
by happinessisbingo
Summary: By sheer coincidence, the acorn hits the ever so haughty Mr. Darcy on the head, and so begins a long story, planned with jam packed parodies! Happy reading! I love REVIEWS! Please don't hesitate to post one!
1. Chapter 1

**Co-Incidents**

Elizabeth Bennet, who was not fifteen, was determined to get her slipper off the tree. She had been running in the most unladylike manner, chasing the Gardiner children for a game of hide-and-seek in the forest and they left the adults behind in their walks. They knew the way to go back, for they have been playing in that part of the woods for quite some time. Visiting Derbyshire was exciting for the Bennets and the Gardiners, and especially Elizabeth, who enjoyed walks and nature.

Hide-and-seek failed somewhat, as most of the participants did not understand the rules of the game, but laughter and merriment was pure bliss itself. It was then when Elizabeth discovered, to her pleasure, a large acorn in the grass. Her sister Jane, who was also Elizabeth's best friend, saw at once what Lizzie was about to do. With her large, bright eyes fixed at the target, Lizzie's foot met the acorn with a satisfying, loud smack. But lo and behold, as she looked up proudly to admire the progress of her craft, not one, but TWO items were flying. Lizzie almost burst with laughter as she saw her slipper land in the crook of two branches of a tall oak; the acorn was completely forgotten. The Gardiner children joined Lizzie in laughter, which was starting to hurt. Even angelic Jane couldn't suppress her giggles.

Fitzwilliam Darcy was thinking of his ailing father as he was riding through the woods of Derbyshire. It was always good to be back from town, but the urgent post from Mrs. Reynolds on his father's condition requested him to ride at first light, and for once in his life he was dreading to come home; he was afraid to acknowledge that his father was dying. He could not imagine, for both him and Georgiana, reliving the death of another parent.

His noble steed, Pegasus, was not living up to his name. The horse had slowed down to a trot from the lack of rest. Darcy did not want to push it any further, and started to regret his refusal for taking a carriage. These mundane thoughts were soon wiped his mind in a most peculiar and painful manner. Something hard the size of a baby's fist had hit him on the head. He cried out, in more of surprise than pain. Descending from his ride, with his head throbbing and ears ringing, Darcy picked up a large acorn. He looked around, confused. There was no tree overhead or nearby; he was in a cleared path. When he started to gain his senses from the dizzying hit, he heard the faint laughter of children nearby. Had he not been so frustrated by the recent events taking place in his life, he would have enjoyed hearing it. But now, humility, wounded pride and anger have taken their toll on Fitzwilliam Darcy. He would find those mischievous children who, he was certain, have done this. He would teach them to have manners and some respect. That would make one thing in his life right.

And with that, Darcy pocketed the acorn went in search of the children.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything any characters in this story, they ALL belong to Jane Austen… but Mr. Darcy wouldn't be bad… teeheehee… 3 I probably own the acorn idea though… and the slipper in the tree…and all the weird wacko stuff I have coming ahead…..

**A/N:** I know this story is really(I mean REALLY) childish compared to the original P&P but I would not be still writing it if it weren't. It's really not meant to be taken seriously, like so many P&P fanfiction out there. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE ANGST! But writing angst would make me die of grief.

This fanfiction has a "radically altered plot", so don't expect ANYTHING the same from P&P except for the characters(though I can't guarantee that either.)

I'm having a bit a trouble writing Darcy's dialogues so if you see something really out of place for him to say, please tell me. 13 reviews! I am SO happy! And here I thought this would get no reviews at all! I can't guarantee that the chapters will get longer, or the updates will be frequent, because school started; only giving me enough inspiration to write on weekends. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it:D

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**Stranded**

"Lizzie! Please come down from there!"

Jane Bennet cried to her younger sister, who was performing the amazing feat of fetching her slipper, six feet above the ground.

"Lizzie! You could get injured! And mama will be furious to see such improper display! Lizzie, please come down safely!"

"My dear Jane, I wouldn't fall. I have climbed many trees in Hertfordshire, and I doubt Derbyshire trees would be any different." Elizabeth called down to her sister and cousins, as she held the bunched hem of her skirt in one hand while securing her footing. She was almost there.

"Yes Lizzie, but in Hertfordshire you had the pleasure of having BOTH your shoes!" but as she said this, Jane knew there was no way to deter Lizzie from doing something she was determined to do, nor make her do something she would not.

As Elizabeth was extending her right arm to reach her slipper, a dark gentleman was approaching the children on his horse. She was the first one to see him, for she was, after all, up in a tree.

"Jane!" she called down in a tone of caution that children used to talk about stolen sweets. "Someone's coming!"

And he was heading right toward them.

Elizabeth was rewarded with the object of her tree climbing excursion and she put it on quick, to cover her dirt stained stocking. She couldn't afford being seen climbing a tree by a gentleman, much less being ON it. Jane risked a warning glance to Lizzie before turning herself and the children to the direction of the approaching man, who was now quite near. Lizzie gathered her skirts tighter and tried to hide behind the covert of a large branch and some leaves. She hoped the stiff, aristocratic gentleman would not look up. Despite the situation, Lizzie couldn't help but feel amused at how strange a game of hide and seek turned out to be.

From above, Lizzie could ascertain the gentleman had dismounted and bowed. Her sister curtsied and the children did their wobbling and indiscernible civilities. Lizzie was not too far up to miss the conversation.

The man introduced himself as Mr. Darcy; he explained his purpose in traveling was to go home and see his father and sister, but something unexpected had happened and extracted something from his pockets. The children gasped and as Jane raised a hand to cover her mouth. Lizzie craned her neck to see.

It was the acorn.

Apparently, to the man's obvious disdain as he continued, it had hit him on the head.

Oh, Lizzie's astonishment was insuppressible! As Mr. Darcy was interrogating the poor, sweet Jane, Lizzie was trying, to the best of her ability to stifle a heartfelt chuckle. She could not withhold her laughter for very long, for in her mind, there engraved an image of the severe Mr. Darcy struck by the stupidity of an acorn.

A ring of laughter escaped, and Lizzie lost her balance momentarily.

She grasped a branch to steady herself. The leaves of the tree shook. To Elizabeth's horror, Mr. Darcy looked upwards. He saw, in the midst of the tangle of branches and leaves, a girl just perhaps a little younger than Miss Bennet. Their eyes met, their gaze locked, and Darcy knew instinctively, she was the culprit of his recent injury.

Being the gentleman that he was, Darcy exclaimed. "GOOD GOD!"

Elizabeth was ashamed to be seen in such an improper situation, she could not help replying in jest.

"Good afternoon to you, sir. I would curtsey if there was more room on this branch."

Never had Darcy seen such appalling behavior! The girl, though a bit flushed, did not seem timid or afraid of him, as Miss Bennet had been. Her countenance was teasing and her eyes bright with amusement. He saw her steal a glance of recognition at the object in his hand. The little prankster! But Darcy was taught to be civil, to ladies especially, and not even the anger he felt then could break down the healthy foundation of civility and propriety that he had nourished from childhood. The anger, however, was hidden behind his mask of arrogant pride, which made his countenance more grim and miserable altogether. Many a time had his civility forced him to doing things in spite of himself, and it would occur once more, as it seems in this case. Dreading what he knew he was bound to do, Darcy silenced his inner protestations and shunned all reason…

_To be continued (I know it's a horrible place to end and I'm sorry… It's just that I'm too lazy)_

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More Author's Notes: I know this has been a very long time since I first posted my fanfiction. Trust me, I've been thinking of a lot of ideas and I've come to realize that this story is NOT going to get VERY serious… So just sit back, relax, and enjoy it (hopefully) as an appetizer to get you in the mood for those many long and exquisite works that so many prolific writers are working so very hard on; THOSE are the main courses… Excuse my cheesy analogy on food. 

Please don't expect this to be STEAMY… Not going to happen. This is mostly for comedy relief, so come to check on this story once a while after crying over a beautiful, angst-ridden fanfic!


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